Suicidal Shadow

I acknowledge your presence
phantom inside of me.
You are without substance
but I know,
         Your hideous voice
         Your hideous face
         Your hideous body
You’re made of words, 
your heartless heart beats daggers, 
afferent dialogues that stab through my pressured vessels
like a tongue scraping with hands and nails. 

Inseperable like a shadow
and like a shadow you purposely sow
darkness where light is consumable. 
What little light that shines in my soul  
       you inveigle, 
       win control,
       repress your rival;
Shall I call it my inner angel?
Can it and I defy the shadow's hold?
Could we dispel long and full sorrow?
Would we if some reason made us capable?

Why you've tricks I don’t understand 
cards to play that stay my logical contest 
and then addition reprimand.
When with the angel I confer
It is so weak and so meek;
just a garnish for the spirit devoured.

You slather words, layer dilemma, obscure reality, spin good to bad, 
you're vindicative, you're a sadist, the absolute talker, the ultimatum maker,
resetting images with pain, memory with sufferings, words to mean nothings
you fuck hopes, belittle dreams and kill my will until you fade away 
like a bloody moon.