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Turning friends to diamonds

3/21/2012

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George shows first,   
     an old Rush rocker,
     as old as my dad but wearing an american flag doo-rag,
  still drums a laborer's life.
He's come for an errand,
     the errand I run.
We talk of music,
     of tuning heads,
     of the importance of the right sound,
     of the difference between a low flat snare and one crackin' high toned,
     of cymbology,
He's got a drum key.
    he'll bring one by next time
    and leaves before dinner.

Upstairs Ben and Jess are prepping,
    yellow seeds of red chili's scattered across the floor,
    their skins now soaking.
    the counter's active with their hands, and
    vegetables, green and red and purple and yellow,
    white rice and black beans boiling
    conversation.

Abby arrives
    her round and lush cheeks.
    she's a blue and gray and white patterned bow in her curly hair.
    her eyes happily light,
    hugging.
She brings her family
   Adrian and little Pheonix
      Phee's brighter than the sun
        5 years old and just beaming energy
           she has  grown with the same golden hair
           she had when she was so so tiny-tiny
                just barely crawling
    Adrian's considerate always
       bright as a whip
       a pleasure to pour a beer for
Glad.

The dogs are there.
    little Rocko,
       white and spotted
       like a fat little rocket
       but sits now waiting
   with medium Champ
       a forty pound barrel
       waiting so patiently
   sniffing away.

Then, within the kitchen, there's an idle moment.
    Ben slows his working.
    Jess and I haven't the energy. 
    for too much whiskey her and I go
       get some beer.
    she's parked in the diner's lot
      Rocko explores then books it back, 
    in.
The car
   I'm shit for giving directions,
       wiped out,
       batty and chatty.
     Jess is cheery,
       letting me be
       weird and happy.
   I thank the Buddha and the God and the 
      fuck, she's intuitive,
      somehow knew exactly when to ask the way. 
   There were times we could have died.
        but, then, 
        whoever wouldn't kill
        us accidents
        easily considering the grand scheme?
Of driving
   on our way back
   Rocko, perches from my lap each of his forelegs on either knee
   looks straight-forward out the window
   wondering
   as if life were some great mystery
Jess and I talk
   whiskey and whiskey
   then about her motorcycle and how down in the valley
   the cityscape was leering
   unfriendly gray buildings and too much industry
Nothing like free air cycling.

Back home
   Sarte's on the coffee table whereby Diandra stands
       worried about existence
       as a writer
       putting her whole heart up and
       having to retch out those insides
    She's not too worried
       really,
           just talking
    Beside her Olivia
        calmest and nicest girl
        with her boy Neil
     My coworkers
         those who I work for
         those which work towards
         those who we work for
             gladly     
Eat.
     Ben, truly content.
     old friend Cynthia shows with her dog Jake.
        they both remind me of stones from the water.
             Jake for
                long and blue, gray and white 
                is his fur, his
                aquamarine eyes. 
            Her for
               a birthmark
                  a patch of color, river green,
                  around the white  
                  beached obsidian.


I'm suddenly stuck
      stabbed wondering
          where they're at.

Smoke flowers
    circled,
       joking:
         the only meat Diandra will eat
       is human.
"Death" comes up.
    Diandra
    imagines a friend's will
    stating
       she has to eat him.
    portrays herself holding an invisible arm,
        chewing,
     lightly.
 
Abby delights!  She has news! "Have you heard!?"
    "you can now turn yourself into a diamond!"
    "that's exactly what I want to do." 
                someone else starts talking
            but I'm still listening,
                 staring, 
                 her feet
                 tired from
                 heels.
        she goes on.
      she'd shave a piece of it,
      give away the diamond made of her
         to all of her friends.
     "Oh wouldn't that be sweet!"
       she chuckles and sighs.
            I'm intent,
            drawn                         away from
            missing
            them.
       I'm imagining
           I'd purposely put her shard
           in a place where it were        
           unprotected and
           vulnerable,
        forcing
               contemplation,    care,
               concentration,     concern,
                          consistence,
         invisible containment,
                    crystalline
                    in the light.
 
Give it away.
                               love.
                                                                            I'm in love.
 I'm in love with so many.

 The dancing queen
     Pheonix
            asks "won't you dance with me,
                    hun?"
            dances modern.
              sings along
              to Talking Heads.
       says,
             "first step: walk.
               second step: dance.
               third: talk to friends.
               fourth: . . .party!"
       sounding wise 
              and overfilled by energy.

Unknown 
    its already come to an end,
   she grins but is saddened,
         tucking her chin as if to hide her lie.
Her father tells
    how she danced under a disco ball
    New Year's Night,  
          for four hours.     
She jumps high     
             as an exclamation point
      and leaves not knowing
             she's the last life of the party.                                                  

     
                 

       
             
          
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