barrel fever

Led by the orderly to
another white barrel
empty like my
mind withdrawing
from
before
rehab kids are
talking outside
my door

the therapist affirms
you have to get along
you'll be here until
you're done

and the psych doc takes only
30 minutes to
redistrubute the usual
line of pills

the nurses all stare to see 
if you'll be a problem
and the other kids well they just
size you up

this feels just like a 
dream
this is my new 
home
and i am the 
new kid on the
block.


In containment we are
forced to focus
our own problems
resentfully held in as
what is
known
sourced from a common place
real world fucked
and teenage angst

i need my friends now more
than anything and 
they were all that kept me sane 
you took them away

our bad histories lead to
war stories 
and the kids here each share
their piece of the glory

though they're all different
they carry the same
desperate and disowned
blameful feeling

disassociate
abuse and rape
homelessness and poverty
homosexuality
problems in the family
and loved ones gone
through drugs and drugs and drugs.

Magnetically we are 
bound to be
in this place
cornered by society's
pitiless
inhuman race
depreciating hope for
our
selves

in a lethal blunder 
with his chosen apparratus
the nurses find him and emerge 
with a boy bleeding

haggard on the highs and
somber on the lows
though the nurses are more mature
they sometimes lose control

the kids are all silent
trying not to rethink death
until we're forced to ask 
why are you here

because you re-
mind me of a 
friend-
-------
and you're the kind of
people I want
to help.